Monday, August 6, 2007

Exclusive: Jeremy looking to make history with third championship

Looking down from the 37th floor, Jeremy Buchanan sits back in his executive leather chair and gazes out of his office window. He knows that Zorn Insurance holds accounts with every building he can see. Even the very small buildings between the sky scrapers, these are the accounts that mean the most to Jeremy.
It is Friday afternoon and he cannot decide if he should start a pot of coffee and do some more research for the upcoming college pick’em season or if he should call it a day and head to the golf course.

On the other side of the door a secretary works frantically to finish up paper work that Mr. Buchanan demanded be completed before the weekend. The secretary told SEC Tailgate that “every day is like def com 3 around here with Jeremy, some days he will work 12 or 15 hours. Sometimes he sleeps here too!” She will soon learn this is just another day at the Zorn Insurance Dublin Division.

Insurance is not the only thing Dublin Dawg works hard at, he is one of the best pick’em players in league history. He is only the second person in the history of the league to win two championships. This year he will be looking to make it a third. (Note: Carten is lazy, I wonder if we will read this.)

Mr. Buchanan is an avid football fan and even has season tickets to Georgia football games. Jeremy has been attending the games regularly ever since he lived in the dorms where he showered with other men on a regular basis. While we forgot to ask him what type of flip flop he preferred to wear in the UGA dorm showers, we did ask him about the upcoming football season.

SEC Tailgate: Why have you been more successful at pick’em than Chirs?
Dublin Dawg: He has been occupied with woman troubles and has not been able to think properly. But I’ve got to watch out this season.

SEC Tailgate: Have you ever thrown a golf club on a golf course out of anger?
Dublin Dawg: Only at Chris. If you look closely, you can see an imprint of my 8-iron on his left hip. Some confuse it with the "mark of the beast", but I know better.

SEC Tailgate: Where is the best place to meet women in Dublin?
Dublin Dawg: Definitely the Department of Labor. They may have some extra mouths to feed, but that unemployment check is guaranteed money in the bank!

SEC Tailgate: How do you prepare for pick'em- is there a stapler you touch each day before making your picks?
Dublin Dawg: Pick'em is a milestone each year that requires several weeks of pigskin concentration, personal reflection, and most importantly, fasting. The fasting ends on opening day with a case of Bud Light and a bag of Lime Tostitos.

SEC Tailgate: Who do you like to win the SEC?
Dublin Dawg: I like Tennessee in the East and LSU in the West.

SEC Tailgate: Who do you like to win the national championship?
Dublin Dawg: LSU. I'd like to see the SEC take it 2 years in a row

SEC Tailgate: What about the Heisman Trophy?
Dublin Dawg: I'm thinking David Booty because USC has somewhat of a streak for the past few years. Darren McFadden could be a strong candidate again this year, but I really think Arkansas' slightly better than average season last year was a fluke.

SEC Tailgate: How do you feel about Carten being a professional sports writer but not winning the league since 2001?
Dublin Dawg: Carten may not be the best pick'em player, but cut the guy some slack.

SEC Tailgate: Who wins UGA/Alabama game?
Dublin Dawg: This match up is way too early in the season. UGA will have to have their game face on in Tuscaloosa. Too early to call.

SEC Tailgate: Will UGA finally beat FL?
Dublin Dawg: I feel lucky.
SEC Tailgate: What is the best game you ever attended?
Dublin Dawg: UGA upsets UT in Knoxville with a minute left (2001.)
SEC Tailgate: What is the worst game you ever attended?
Dublin Dawg: UGA is almost upset by Mississippi State in Athens (2006.) Mississippi who???
Photo Credit: Zorn Insurance


Anonymous said...

Carten sounds like a pretty cool guy. On the crapper? That is classic.

Jennifer Barnes said...

That guy is hot!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Do you sale shirts with the drunk guy on them (the count down guy)? That would be awesome and you guys could make a killing. I want one of those shirts!